Weigh in #1 - Weekend Update Days 6 & 7

I had a meltdown of epic proportions on Saturday night that lead in to Sunday morning. I don’t think I have ever been so hysterical in my life and I scared the shit out of my boyfriend W. It was approximately 6 hours of me crying and carrying on and telling him that he didn’t support my weight loss efforts enough. I was in full hysteria mode and he tried to console and soothe me but I was having none of it. My meltdown led to his freak out and by the time 6AM rolled around we were both tired and worn down and had nothing to give.
I have nothing to say in my defense except that I’m a girl. I definitely think that women just have these crazy super sensitive hormones that kick in every once in a while and make us seem psycho and slightly unhinged.
I think that a big part of it had to do with my visit to the weight loss center. I had looked into weight loss surgery specifically Lapland surgery last year in 2007. Last month I was at my wits end regarding my weight and decided that I was going to try one last time to lose weight on my own and if I wasn’t able to do it, then I would go through with the surgery. I felt like I had no other option. It was surgery or illness and possibly death. Lap band surgery was my last resort. I called the Kane center which is the hospital I had been working with before and began the process.
One of the requirements for my insurance is for me to be in a 6 month supervised weight loss program. Maggie at the Kane center suggested that I do this through the Nutrition and Disease prevention center in Schaumburg, IL. My initial appointment was this Saturday, April 12, 2008. W was supposed to go with me but that morning I decided that I wanted to go alone. I don’t know how truthful I would be if he was there and I didn’t want them to weigh me in front of him. He still has no idea what I weigh and I’m not eager to tell him. If he asks me, I would be honest but to his credit he hasn’t asked since I started gaining weight again.
I meet with Therese a nurse practitioner and she weighed and measured me. She also took my blood pressure and listened to my lungs. Then she asked me a lot of questions about my eating habits, my health, my sex life, my emotions and other numerous things. She documented everything in the computer as we went along. The whole thing took over 2 hours. I had been nervous at the beginning but Therese was friendly and really seemed to know what she was doing. She was professional but nice and but me at ease. I really felt comfortable talking to her. We talked about my emotional eating for awhile and she told me that I definitely need to see a clinical psychologist to overcome my emotional eating. She said she would make an appointment for me. This is something that W has been telling me I need but for some reason or another I just never did anything about it. She also gave me a script to get a bunch of tests and blood work done. She also wanted me to be tested for sleep apnea since my sleep schedule is so out of whack. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have it. If not sleep apnea I know I at least have some other sleep disorder. My sleep patterns are not normal.
Therese did give me a sermon about me not taking my diabetes medications on a regular basis. My doctor gives me the same speech and tells me to try harder but Therese didn’t tell me to try, she told me to do it. No and, ifs or buts. I honestly respected her in how firm she was and I’ve been trying to do better with it but my medications have some unpleasant side effects so I tend to skip them once in awhile.
Therese also talked to me about all the changes that I will be making in the next 6 months and all the changes after that if I decide to go through the surgery. There was so much information and so many changes that I left there feeling scared and overwhelmed. I know this contributed to my mega meltdown. It just seemed like so much that I just didn’t know how I was going to do this. It felt like she was asking me to climb Mount Everest when I can barely climb up a small hill.
I was proud that although the meeting had filled me with anxiety and stress, I didn’t reach for food. I didn’t even reach for food after my meltdown. The urge for food to suppress my feelings didn’t even surface and the surprised the hell out of me.
So even with my melt down I managed to make healthier food choices and to work out. W went with me to the fitness center in my apartment complex. He did weights while I got in my cardio then showed me some basic strength training moves; we had a good time and being with him there made if fun. 

We did go out to eat to KFC on Saturday but I looked up the nutrition information before we left so I already had something semi healthy picked out when we got there. A, L’s boyfriend made some pasta with broccoli and chicken on Saturday and I measured out one cup of pasta and 3 ounces of chicken. It was plenty of food and very filling so dinner on Saturday was pretty healthy.
On Sunday I went to my mom’s house and had a couple slices of pizza and some garlic bread. I was sort of disappointed that I didn’t say no to the garlic bread but I didn’t beat myself up over it.
Sunday’s my day off for working out so I took it easy. I did buy some healthy groceries for my breakfast and lunch. I’m trying to eat better and more organic so I got some nitrate and msg free deli meat, natural peanut butter and some bread that does not contain high fructose corn syrup. I already buy organic milk and want to switch over to buying only organic food but I’m taking it slow. One step at a time.
I weighed myself when I woke up on Sunday afternoon and it said I was down 2.4lbs. I was pretty proud of myself but I tend to believe that it’s water weights. We’ll see I guess.

Starting Weight (4/6/08): 230.8
Current Weight (4/13/08): 228.4
Difference: -2.4 -2.4 lbs

Weekend Workouts: 15 minutes treadmill, 10 minutes eliptical, 5 minutes bike, 20 minutes of strength training and stretching.

Thoughts for the weekend: Go me for losing 2.4lbs!

FYI: Sunday mornings are my weigh in days. I didn't think about it in time but from now on i will take a pic of the scale with my weight. It will keep my honest.